Sickness

{ September 2, 2009 @ 9:14 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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So I’ve been sick for the past week and finally today I officially lost my voice. It was pretty funny when I had to read my 4 page creative writing assignment to the class today. I sound so pathetic. Of course, to make things even better, Mother Nature decided to make it rain today so that I would stay sick for a little bit longer. And I have to work tonight so if anyone wants to ask me where something is, I’ll have to simply point and nod.
Anyways, my mom, aunt, and cousin are coming up to see me this weekend. I hope I feel better by then. I’d hate to ruin their weekend plus make them sick when they go back.
The one upside to my week is that my financial aid money should be coming in tomorrow or the next day, which means I can pay the rent and bills.
Currently, I’m waiting for my work clothes to dry so I can change and leave. I’d much rather stay at the apartment, take a warm shower, snuggle up on the couch with a blanket, and read.
Gotta go.

Yay

{ August 24, 2009 @ 7:18 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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So I feel like a huge loser because I’m so excited about classes starting. I only had one class today (creative writing) but it made me really happy. So I’m just in a very good mood right now. Even though I was a dummy and thought my class started at 11 today when it didn’t start till 12:30. I ended up walking around campus for a couple hours, catching up with some friends, and getting a free hot dog from the Union. All in all, pretty nice day today :) Besides the fact I have to close at Kohl’s tonight.. blah. Tomorrow is one of my busy days: three classes back to back, but it should be interesting. I’m happy.

Some Kind of Wonderful

{ August 21, 2009 @ 3:38 am } · { Uncategorized }
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So pretty much, I just wanted to write that I had a wonderful day today! After I woke up and took a shower, my boyfriend made lunch for both of us (something that doesn’t happen very often, so I’m very thankful when it does) as I was getting ready for the day. After we ate his delicious lunch of hamburger helper and broccoli and cheese, I kissed him goodbye and went shopping with one of my best friends. I’ve been needing new clothes for awhile, but I kept putting if off until today. After I tired of trying on clothes, I stopped at Sonic and grabbed some food and a cherry vanilla coke (yummy!) and headed back to the apartment. At around 7:30, Eric, Jose, and I went to the movies to see District 9 which was… interesting. I know this sounds like a stupid normal day, but something about it just made it great to me. The only downside is that I have to wake up at 6 in the AM to go to work, but I only work four hours. So now Eric is in the living room playing video games and I’m winding down on the computer. I just wanted to write about my super cool day.

I’m going to need lots of coffee in the morning.

Extra Push

{ August 12, 2009 @ 4:51 am } · { Uncategorized }
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So I’m finding it pretty strange that I’m excited about classes starting. I don’t think I’ve ever been anxious to go back to school. It’s a good feeling though. I think my newfound desire for school is because I haven’t really had anything to do this summer but work at a place that I hate and lounge around the apartment. Don’t get me wrong, this summer has been pretty exciting as well: Eric and I just started living together in May and it’s going very well so far, I got my own car so I don’t have to rely on any one for rides, and I’m slowly becoming more independent.
Another reason I think I’m ready to go back is because I’m FINALLY getting to take Creative Writing! I’ve never been able to take it before because it’s always full by the time I get to it. I do believe that this class will not only improve my writing ability, but give me that extra push I need to start writing more. In the back of my mind I know I should continue working on my writing, but the Summer brings on a habit of laziness that I can’t seem to shake. If I have an actual assignment, a specific piece that I have to write, I know I can focus and do my thing.
I’m pretty sure by the middle of the semester, I’ll most likely be procrastinating and ready for Christmas break :)

I Need a Change

{ August 9, 2009 @ 6:59 am } · { Uncategorized }
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Okay. Something has to change for me. Hopefully, when I start school again it will, but until then, I need to do something about this. It’s slowly driving me crazy.
I seriously need to make more friends. I feel like such a loser on a daily basis because my boyfriend has tons of friends that he hangs out with, while poor antisocial Brittany is stuck at home because her 5 total friends are all busy. This is ridiculous. Even my relationship is suffering because we spend too much time together because I don’t have anything else to do.
And even though I am dying to change my situation, I’m not exactly sure how to meet new people. I really thought I was doing much better since in high school I was so quiet. I’ve made many new friends while I’ve been in college, but most of them are mere acquaintances, not people I could call up and ask to go eat lunch with me or go see a movie. Even my high school friends are too far away, so I am left with the sad fact that I have to put myself out there, break out of my bubble, and talk to more people.
Tonight, I went with my boyfriend and his friend to a party where none of us knew anyone. They both tried to get me to go up to a random group of people and join in on their conversation, but I just could not do it. I felt awkward and nervous merely at the thought of putting myself out there like that. I think it’s because I’m afraid people won’t like me. I’m scared to put myself out there like that and be straight-up rejected.
So, my question is this: How would you suggest I try to meet new people? I’ve thought of trying to join some kind of group at school, but I’m not sure what groups there are for English majors. I really don’t want to join a sorority (tried it already and hated it) and I can’t really do anything that costs a lot of money, so my options are somewhat limited.
Crap, I apologize; it’s two in the morning and I’m rambling. Goodnight.

Another dissapointment?

{ August 4, 2009 @ 10:53 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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So pretty much ever since I’ve started working at the wonderful department store known as Kohl’s, I’ve been trying to find another job. Needless to say, I have not done a very good job since I am still employed there. I’ve had interviews at other places where I would have loved to work, but after waiting impatiently for a call back, I was not hired at any of them. So a couple of days ago I got an e-mail from the English Undergrad listserv telling me about a new tutoring place opening up like 20 minutes from where I live. Naturally, after tutoring college kids for a couple years, I feel very well qualified to tutor junior high and high school kids, so I filled out an application. Surprisingly, I received a call back this morning and have an interview tomorow at 3:00! Yay! Now, I’m crossing my fingers that this isn’t just another dissapointment because not only would I be doing what I love, but I’d be doing it for even more than the University pays me: $10/hour! I’ll certainly be crossing my fingers tomorrow.

Always Working for the Weekend

{ July 26, 2009 @ 4:57 am } · { Uncategorized }
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I apologize for the long rant you are about to hear. I just need to get it out.
You wanna know something that really bothers me? I hate how hard I have to work for not very much money. I can barely enjoy my summer from working everyday. And my job entails cleaning fitting rooms all day because some people are too lazy to hang their clothes back up and put them back where they belong. It’s very frustrating and even though I can’t stand my job, I have to have it. Although I have tried several times to find a different, better, less stressful job, I have been unsuccessful thus far. It’s also frustrating how low minimum wage is. The other day I had an evaluation at work and I got a little excited when they said I would be getting a raise. I come to find out that they raised me .30 cents and only because minimum wage in Arkansas is going up to 7.25. So basically I received a .05 cent raise and am now making a whopping $7.30 an hour. I’m just bursting with joy…
In addition, a couple of the managers insist on talking to me like I am an idiot. It becomes quite hard for me to keep my cool, so I just shut my mouth, smile, and nod, when actually inside I’m yelling at them: “Who do you think you are?! Just because you’re a manager at a frickin’ Kohl’s gives you no right to talk down to me! In fact, I’m probably much more intelligent then you are! I mean, great job. You accomplished your life goal.. You are a manager at Kohl’s. Give yourself a pat on the back and a cookie.”
Three and a half weeks ago, I requested off for August 4th through the 10th and I asked one of these managers (who think I’m a complete retard) where to write my days I want off at. She proceeded to show me the incorrect spot to write it, so yesterday I found out that I did not get any of the days I requested off, no, I’m working till 10 and midnight every one of those days. So noooooww they’re going to make me find people to cover my shifts for me. Basically, I’m being punished for someone else showing me the wrong place to write my days I requested off. ARGH! I told one of the managers tonight at work and he sent the scheduling manager an e-mail, explaining what happened, so hopefully she will fix it for me. If not, I won’t be able to celebrate my boyfriend’s 21st birthday with him, nor be able to go on vacation with him before classes start again for Fall.
If only I didn’t need this job to live, eat, and make my car payment…. I’d be way gone.

Que Sera Sera

{ July 24, 2009 @ 3:27 am } · { Uncategorized }
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It is a very well known fact to the people who know me best, that I am a huge worrier. Seriously, I worry about money, school, my parents, my future, etc.. I like to think I get it from my grandma (Who was also a professional worrier who would pace the floor every time there was a bad thunderstorm). No matter how much my significant other tries to calm my worries, it’s a trend that always seems to catch up with me just when I’m the most relaxed. These stresses which should be but small worries always seem to give me headaches that occur way too often.
Thankfully, lately my worries have subsided a little. My perspective has been slightly changed after I stepped back and took an outside look at my life.
I mean, of course money is always going to be a source of worry for me, but it’s not one that I should let stress me out constantly. Everyone (well almost everyone) has money issues so I should not feel so alone and helpless when millions of other college kids are going through the same thing I am. Yeah, it stinks that I’ve had to pay for the whole college thing on my own without much help from my parents, but I think the experience has made me much more responsible and appreciative than those kids that have everything handed to them on a silver platter. I had to work my ass off to get into college and I’ve had to work even harder to afford to stay in college. In order to help myself, I should probably learn to budget more efficiently and can’t wait to get a better job that actually pays well.
Class isn’t a worry at the moment, in fact, I’m ready for classes to begin again. Although I’m a huge procrastinator, I’m determined to break the habit this semester and get on top of my game. My current GPA is certainly not the greatest and I only have two more years to raise it up to par. After a very confusing and stressful semester, my grade point fell considerably and I’m going to have to hustle it to satisfy myself and my future employers.
My parents aren’t as much of a worry now as they used to be. I used to always worry about what they thought of me, how mad they were, and how strict they were. I honestly felt like I could do nothing right in their eyes and thought we would never be close again like we were when I was in high school. During the past couple years, I’ve done a lot of growing up and coming into my own. Now that I’ve moved out of their house and into my own apartment, I think they have finally accepted that I’m going to live my own life and although I’m going to make mistakes and screw up occasionally, they are mistakes that I need to make to learn and grow as a person. After many long talks and a few tears, my dad and I are great and me and my mom could not be any closer :)
My Future.  I don’t think I’ll ever stop worrying about what lies ahead for me. The scariest fact is that I still have no idea what I want to do. True, I can always fall back on teaching English, but I’m not sure if teaching is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I mean, this is a huge decision! This is the career that I will be stuck with the rest of my life, so I don’t want to rush into any hasty decision. Pretty much my career is the only part of my future I worry about.. (I think I have a pretty good idea of who I want sharing my memories and witnessing my life :)
So, I just need to calm down and live in the moment. Whatever will be will be.